First Steps of Wedding Planning | Just Engaged? Start Here
Just got engaged and wondering where the heck to start with wedding planning? This post goes over the first steps of wedding planning so you can start off on the right foot.
First of all, congratulations on your engagement!! If you just said yes to the big question, you’re probably wondering what the heck to do next.
When I got engaged, I was so excited to start wedding planning that I jumped in without any idea what I was doing and had no real direction. Don’t make the same mistake! This post will walk you through what to do after getting engaged and how to get started with wedding planning.
This post is all about the first steps of wedding planning.
9 First Steps of Wedding Planning
#1: Share the good news
The first step of wedding planning is to pop the champagne and celebrate your engagement! Think about how you want to share the good news. It’s probably a good idea to tell family and close friends first before posting on social media. Make sure you discuss it with your fiancé just to make sure you’re on the same page.
If you’re anything like me, you’re probably dying to jump into wedding planning, but I encourage you to take a pause and just enjoy being engaged for a bit. Stare at that flashy ring on your finger, cringe at the new “fiancé” title, and just be giddy. Wedding planning can be all-consuming, so don’t jump in just yet.
This is seriously such an exciting time in your life. Soak up every minute of it.
#2: Plan an engagement party
Some couples will have their engagement party immediately after popping the question. This is typically planned ahead of time by the person proposing. If that’s not the case for you, you’ll want to decide if decide if you are going to throw one.
An engagement party is exactly what is sounds like – a party to celebrate your engagement. This event is absolutely not required if you’re not feeling it, but if you are thinking about having one, it usually takes place pretty soon after getting engaged.
Traditionally, the engagement party is thrown by the parents of the bride, but there are no hard and fast rules anymore. You’ll want to start thinking about who is going to throw it, where you want to have it, and what vibe you’re going for.
This could be a high-class, lavish event if that’s your thing, but it could also mean inviting some friends and family over for drinks or even just meeting them at a bar. Whatever floats your boat.
One thing to note is that you probably should not invite anyone you don’t plan on inviting to the wedding. Etiquette wise, if you invite someone to your engagement party, you should plan on inviting them to the wedding as well.
Check out this video by Jamie Wolfer for more details about how to plan an engagement party.
#3: Schedule engagement photos
I encourage everyone to schedule their engagement photos pretty soon after getting engaged. There are a couple reasons for this:
- You’re still in that “oh my gosh we’re engaged” phase and this will show in your photos.
- You want to book your engagement photos far enough in advance to use the photos on your save the dates or invitations.
- Wedding planning can be stressful. You might as well check this off the list early.
Sometimes wedding photographers offer packages that include engagement photos or offer a discount when you book them for both an engagement and wedding. This could be a good way to save a few bucks if you already know who you are hiring as your wedding photographer. However, it can be difficult to plan this so far in advance. Personally, I wouldn’t wait.
I hired two different photographers for our engagement and wedding photos, and they had two very different styles. I actually preferred this because we got more variety in our pictures. Our engagement session cost $350 for an hour, which was plenty of time for an outfit change and some amazing photos.
If you are in the Florida or Georgia area, I highly recommend Kendi Austinson from Kendi Photo Co. for your engagement photos. Check out some of our photos below.
#4: Discuss your wedding vision
So far, the first few steps of wedding planning haven’t really been about wedding planning, but in this step, we’re diving in! Step 4 is to discuss your wedding day vision with your fiancé.
You do not need to have anything set in stone yet! This is just to get some ideas flowing and hear what your partner has in mind. Sometimes (most of the time) one person has more opinions than the other, but it’s important to discuss any desires or expectations before getting started with planning.
For example, I knew my overall vision right away. I was thinking somewhere beachy and tropical with a boho theme, neutral color palate, and relaxed and casual feel. I also wanted to have all of our guests stay together for the weekend. Blake’s only real request in the beginning was that we have a smaller more intimate wedding. This helped give us a direction and guide a lot of our future decisions.
Take a second to pin this to your wedding board so you can come back to this post later!
#4: Set your budget
This step is absolutely essential!! Maybe the most important initial step of wedding planning. You MUST set your overall wedding budget before you spend a single penny on your wedding.
Your vision and budget are the two things that will guide all wedding planning decisions. Without setting your budget, you will not know how much you can afford and risk overspending.
Setting your wedding budget includes determining your total budget and then breaking that down into categories (ex: venue, florist, photographer, etc.). You can do this by allocating a certain percentage of the total budget to each category.
For help with setting your budget, check out these two blog posts:
The first post walks you through exactly how to set a wedding budget that is realistic for your financial situation. The second provides suggested wedding budget percentages for each category and includes a free printable template.
Get Your Free Wedding Budget Breakdown Template!
Allocate your wedding budget like a pro with this FREE wedding budget breakdown template. Simply fill in the form below to get the template delivered right to your inbox!
After determining your budget, do some research to make sure that your budget and vision align. You might need to adjust some expectations or make some compromises in order to match your budget.
#5: Determine your priorities.
After setting your wedding budget, you should discuss your priorities with your fiancé and family. (If your family is contributing to the wedding, they should get some say in planning).
You should rank the categories in terms of importance, identify your top three priories, and three things you don’t care much about. This will help you focus on what really matters and save in areas that don’t. You can adjust your budget allocations to put more money towards your priority categories.
For example, our priorities were our venue, photography, and bar. We wanted a venue in the Florida Keys that was on the water and had on-site accommodations for our guests. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to invest in a good photographer because I love looking back at photos. Finally, our families really like to party. We knew we wanted to provide drinks to our guests for the entire weekend (in other words, we needed to buy a lot of alcohol).
On the other hand, I knew that I didn’t really care about flowers, a fancy wedding cake, or having the best caterer. (Wedding food is wedding food, right?) I also knew that I could save by doing my own stationary and that by having on-site accommodations at the venue, we wouldn’t have to worry about guest transportation. We cut the budget on these items so that we could allocate more funds to our priority categories.
Make your wedding budget work for you by knowing what matters and what doesn’t. Spend more on categories that are important to you and save money in categories that aren’t.
#6: Think about your when and where
If you haven’t already, you’ll want to think about when and where your wedding will take place. This does not need to be narrowed down to a specific date or venue, just a general time frame and location.
When
The average engagement is between 12 and 18 months, and although that may seem like a long time, some wedding vendors book out a year or more in advance. Although you can definitely plan a wedding in less than a year, having an engagement period in this timeframe will give you more vendor options, more time to save, and more time to plan – all of which leads to less stress. Personally, we were engaged for 16 months, and I think it was the perfect amount of time.
There are a lot of things that could influence the timing of your wedding. For example, do you need more time to save money for the wedding? Are you planning on moving soon want to have the wedding before you do? Do you have your heart set on getting married during a certain season? When is peak wedding season in your area and are wedding costs typically higher during those months? Do you have a sick parent or family member who may not be with you much longer?
Where
Your where may depend on your wedding vision or simply where your friends and families live. Do you want to go back to your hometown for your wedding? Has your dream always been to have a destination wedding? Do you want people to travel to where you live now? Do you have friends or family who are not able to travel? Does your vision include a certain landscape like the mountains or the beach?
Ask yourself these important questions and do some research into weddings in your ideal location. Keep in mind that your when and where kind of go hand in hand, so it’s important to think about how one may influence the other.
For example, Blake and I knew we wanted to get married in Florida because that’s where most of our friends and family lived and our wedding vision included a tropical, beachy landscape. As you probably know, Florida can get very hot and muggy in the summer months. It also has an active hurricane season from August to October. Since our wedding was going to be outside, this narrowed down our ideal months to November to April. After some research, I found that wedding season in Florida is January to April and venue costs were sometimes double in this timeframe. This left us with either getting married in November or December. We landed on November because we were afraid that, with all of the holidays, it may be difficult for guests to attend in December.
Pro Tip: Have a general month and year in mind, but don’t get too attached to a specific date yet. This will give you more options when it comes to venues. Once you find your ideal venue, you can pick a date based on their availability.
#7: Start the guest list
Number 7 of the first steps of wedding planning it to make your guest list. It might seem odd to do this so early on, but It’s very important to know your numbers. You’ll need to know your guest count to book your venue and other vendors.
Don’t just estimate this number! Sit down with your fiancé and list everyone that might get a wedding invite – you might be surprised at how quickly it adds up. No, not everyone will come, and yes, you can always cut the list later, but you should know the maximum number of guests you could potentially have.
Once you have your list, run it by your parents to make sure you aren’t forgetting any family members. You might also want to have a close friend check over it as well. (Blake and I definitely forgot a few people on our initial list.)
Pro Tip: Your guest list is the number one budget killer. The more guests you have, the more money you will have to spend – there’s no way around it. More guests mean more venue space, more food, more alcohol, more tables, more chairs, more centerpieces, more favors … more of everything. If you have a low budget and large guest list, your money won’t go as far. If you are trying to stretch the budget, consider having a smaller wedding.
#8 Get organized
Wedding planning can become very overwhelming very quickly, especially if you are not organized. I highly suggest taking the time to get organized before you start planning.
This post goes over ALL of my tips for getting organized before you start planning your wedding, but here they are in a nutshell:
Here’s what I suggest you do to organize your wedding planning:
- Purchase a 3-ring binder for all printed documents
- Find or create a good timeline & to-do list
- Find or create a digital budget tracker to keep track of spending and payments
- Create a new shared email or folder within an existing email account
- Create a document folder on your computer to save documents to
- Create sections within your wedding Pinterest board to organize pins
Having these organizational systems in place will seriously set you up for success. I did not organize anything until a few months into planning and it was a MESS. I can’t tell you how many times I was scouring through emails to find a specific vendor quote or how many notes I had written on random pieces of paper. Once I took the time to organize everything, it was like weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I realized that a lot of my stress just came from being disorganized! Don’t forget to check out the full post here.
#9: Begin your venue search
Now that you know your wedding vision, priorities, budget, guest count, and ideal timeframe, step 9 is to begin your venue search. This is a very exciting step because it all starts to feel real!
I liked using wedding websites such as The Knot and WeddingWire to help find venues because they allow you to filter your search by budget, guest count, amenities, and even the type of venue. However, it is important to note that business owners have to pay for their services to be advertised on those platforms, so you may not see all options. Definitely use google and social media to search as well.
After researching venues and getting back some pricing, choose your top 3-5 venues and schedule tours. If possible, I highly recommend that you walk through the venue to see it in person. It’s crazy how different a place can look or feel in person versus in photos. You’ll also want to come prepared with a list of questions. Check out this list of questions to ask your venue from The Knot.
Once you have your venue booked, it’s official!!! You’re getting married!!! You’ll finally have an answer when everyone and their mom asks you if you have a date set yet.
After you have your venue, you can start researching and booking your other wedding vendors, like your photographer, caterer, coordinator, DJ, etc. You can also start creating your wedding website and save the dates, and thinking about who you would like to have in your wedding party. Get excited for all the fun stuff that’s ahead!
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Summary
Getting engaged is SO exciting but can be a little overwhelming when you start thinking about what to do next. Hopefully this post helped break down the first steps of wedding planning so that you feel more relaxed and confident moving forward.
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Happy Planning!
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